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Be Your Own Psychic Medium: 5 Ways to Speak to Your Deceased Loved Ones

Many of us have lost loved ones and struggle to deal with the void left from their passing. Parapsychologists have studied the phenomena of mediumship for many years, but the question remains...can you be your own psychic medium?

Most agree that psychic (psi) abilities are innate - that everyone is born with the ability to develop and use these abilities. So it only makes sense that each of us also has the ability to communicate with our loved ones that have crossed over. Here are several ways you could tap into your mediumship abilities:

-Enlist the help of your spirit guides. According to Roxburgh and Roe (2014), 100% of psychic mediums they studied shared that they were communicating with external “Spirit Guides.” This means that you need to develop a relationship with your guides and angels by asking for their assistance directly. There’s no magic to it - you can simply ask. Some may prefer to do this through meditation or dreams, but asking for assistance is usually the first step in opening yourself to the spirit world.

-Create an ancestral altar. Using items from your passed on loved ones or if you don’t have any, some that you feel represents them, create a simple altar to recognize them. All it takes is a small shelf or top of a bureau or dresser where you can place the items and a small candle. Once a day, stand in front of the altar, light the candle, and thank your deceased loved ones for their help and guidance. Tell them about your day. As you become more regular with this practice, you can start asking questions. You may hear an answer (inside your head) or see a sign during the next few days that is the answer. The key is being consistent in your practice!

-Ask them individually to guide you. Rather than asking all of your “Spirit Family” for assistance, another approach is to ask specifically for one passed on loved one to communicate with and guide you. By singling them out (temporarily), this gives you an opportunity to be more focused and open to hearing from that specific person. Start by choosing one passed on loved one as your focus. Think of them as often as you can during the first week. If you’ve set up an ancestral altar, light the candle and recognize them individually and ask for their help. If you have an object of theirs that you can carry with you every day, then do that. If you have a coin with their year of birth or of their passing, carry that with you. Once you’ve done this for a week or two, begin communicating with them by asking a question and listening carefully for an answer or a sign. It is best to do this well after someone has passed on (usually a year or more later), because newly crossed-over souls must go through “life review” and may not be able to communicate during that process.

-Use psychometry to connect with them. Holding an object the loved one owned or cherished is an excellent way to connect with them. Find a place where you can be alone and relaxed, clear your mind, and hold the object. Be open to any thoughts, visions, or feelings you have. Don’t dismiss what you receive as your imagination - the information you are receiving is very likely to be valid. Just the act of tuning in to the object and the person can result in a new connection with them in the spirit world.

-Ask them to come to you in dreams. If you have tried and are not being successful in seeing, feeling, or hearing your loved one after trying the previous suggestions, you may want to set the intention to visit with them in your dreams. At night, before going to sleep, ask your loved one to visit you while you sleep and communicate a message to you. Keep a dream journal by your bedside and as you wake up, immediately write down any dreams you can remember. The spirit world is much closer to us when we are in the dream state, which is the perfect time to communicate with the other side. It is such a simple act, but the results may surprise you!


Beischel J., & Rock A. J. (2009). Addressing the survival vs. psi debate through process-focused mediumship research. Journal of Parapsychology, 73, 71–90.

Daggett L. M. (2005). Continued encounters: The experience of after-death communication. Journal of Holistic Nursing, 23, 191–207.

Nowatzki N. R., & Grant Kalischuk R. (2009). Post-death encounters: Grieving, mourning, and healing. Omega: Journal of Death and Dying, 59, 91–111.

Biography: Dr. Carol Pollio is the Director of Intuitive Investigations®, a paranormal investigation, intuitive/psychic development, and earthbound spirit rescue organization. After a successful career as a Chief Scientist in a federal land management agency and having honorably served 36 years in the military, Dr. Pollio is now focusing on the field of parapsychology, blending her knowledge of scientific principles with her intuitive abilities and psychic mediumship skills. She is also a certified Parapsychological Field Investigator with the Office of Paranormal Investigations and an Elemental Space Clearing® Practitioner.

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